Great site to blow off steam.

I also compare every p.o.s. found footage, or first person shaky-cam, movie that comes out nowadays with the biggest film for losers (Blair witch project) ever made. BWP just proves how truly paranoid and delusional (and gullable) many people are (too many people).
This is exactly what happens when people have a good idea for a movie but have no ability to tell or develop a story, write dialogue or edit film. Run like a mother from these movies and tell hollywood to quit making them. Even though I have never illegally downloaded any movie I can understand why people do. We’re tired of wasting our money on half baked movies that have nothing in them.

And if you liked the Blair Witch Project and it frightened you at all it’s because you’re the type of person that believes people are always following you, and there’s someone waiting to rob or rape you around every corner. The kind of moron that weeps at every sad news story on tv and has anxiety attacks because of them but aren’t smart enough to turn off the news of other peoples tragedys. Kind of like these movies.

Even the pet rock eventually got put on the shelf because people realized how stupid it they were for buying it.

Oh, and quarantine was another one that sucked. Without a few cat jumping into frame moments to give a shock value this movie blew chunks too. Which is a shame because it appeared with the newspaper clippings placed in this movie that they also had a good idea for a movie but didn’t know how to write a good script to build a story that took you through all that and at some point just decided to try for cheap jump out of your seat moments and some gore to appeal to the jerry springer and jack-ass generation. I suspect they put the clippings in there because of some sense of loss for what this movie could have been. Unlike blair witch project quarantine could have been something great.

And, no worries: ranting is always welcome here.

Nothing flowed together as a story, I feel like it was just random scenes spliced together. What you said about it not reverting back to her reality is what ultimately killed the movie for me. I mean once there was nothing to reference what was really happening, I just didn’t care, about the characters nothing! I didn’t care if they were fighting fucking zombie Nazis or cutting baby dragon’s throats, it was all meaningless. While we were in the theater, my friend leaned over to me an asked “You look bored! Why?!” Mind you this was during the Robot fight sequence. She couldn’t believe I was that freaking bored (She liked it more than I did), and neither could I! I mean how is that even remotely possible!? But I was, mainly because I had no idea what any of what I was watching had to do with her escaping the brothel/asylum? Like, who was she fighting to get those objects she needed? What in her reality, made her think of all that crazy shit? I guess the dancing was suppose to be metaphor for her fighting, but then, what’s happening in reality that’s forcing her to dream this alternate reality? I didn’t get any of that, so because of it, all that glamorous fighting meant shit to me. It looked cool don’t get me wrong, he nailed the visuals, but he just needs to practice his narrative skills a little. Especially when you go into making a movie this complex, the story has to be simple and flow coherently. All Snyder needed to do (for me, just my opinion) was revert back to her reality every once in a while, and clue us in on what’s really happening. That way it would be easier to relate to the characters and their objectives. Also, instead of a fantasy within a fantasy (save that shit for Inception, at least Nolan took the time and energy to do it right), maybe just keep it simple, and just have the reality and the fantasy world, combine the brothel fantasy and the crazy fighting fantasy worlds together. Hell, that would have made more sense then that stupid “Ooo watch me dance” back and forth shit, that grew tired real quick.

Sorry I’m ranting, just pissed, because I had my hopes up for this film. Great mistake on my part, should have known better I guess. Still, it’s great that Snyder made an original film concept. Shit like this is suppose to pave the way for more original material, instead of endless fucking comic book adaptations, fairy tale adaptations and reboots of reboots of reboots, all that shit is lame now. I was really hoping this would blow all of that out of the water and show that original concepts can be amazing and successful. Just sucks. Anyway, great review =). Thanks….

Come to think of it, I’d love a two hour CGI tribute to my own erection. :P

I don’t really know what I was expecting from this movie, but I don’t think sexual abuse masquerading as female empowerment was it. I just found the CGI sequences hard to latch onto with the rest of the shaky elements in the mix.